Mathangi Ray


Dennis Mansfeld


Laura Rhian

Joel Fender

KillerChorus ® presents lyrics of the album House Therapy that accompanies the book The House Therapist ®

 Lyrics are in book order. At the time of writing, 7th Feb 2016, most songs are on www.soundcloud.com/killerchorus  

In a few weeks that will be removed & "House Therapy" will be available on iTunes & Amazon.















The House Therapist


​Commitment (from Instinctive Introduction chapter)

-- sung by Mathangi Ray --
All I want is a little commitment. All I want is a little time
Don’t dispose of me like I was nothing; that’d be a long-term crime
So we’re walking together, and right now everything looks fine
How long do you think we will last, how long given time?
I could have said that you wanted more
You could have told me anything
And you could have said that you wanted more
But you didn’t want a thing
I see what you do with your Coke can. you’re throwing it away
It’s going into the garbage. Ooh Coke can, that’s OK
How long ’til you finish with me, how long will I last? 

How long do you think we will be, making our own past?
I could have said that you wanted more
You could have told me anything
And you could have said that you wanted more
But you didn’t want a thing.


   Sorry For Your Loss (from The Light Diagram chapter)

​-- sung by Laura Rhian --

As a child I was shown love, and I cannot help that
As a child you were shown hate, and you will not leave that
If you had been loved, would you have chosen me?
If you had been loved, you would have found all I can be
I hear heartfelt apologies, and words help heal the blows
But memories are in my bones when marks no longer show
Your dad mistreated you, and you pass the pain on
But would you to another man?  No, you’re not strong
So, I am 
Sorry for your loss, for all the loves you’ll cost
For smiles taken from youth; now become your truth
Sorry for your loss, for the line you have crossed
So sorry for your loss
Of me
I never make you number one; you say I’m all me-me-me
So I’ve listed what we’ve both done; the list does not agree
And I will celebrate myself, since you’ve forgotten how
A lioness before we met, I’ll never be a mouse
So, I am 
Sorry for your loss, for all the loves you’ll cost
For smiles taken from youth; now become your truth
Sorry for your loss, for the line you have crossed
So sorry for your loss
Of me
Where have I been, why did I go, what I wear, who I’m with, you possess me like a swarm
But the unspoken permission you heard – to treat me as 2nd class – is hereby withdrawn
As a child I was shown love, and I cannot help that
As a child you were shown hate.  Good luck to you ... and that.

Clinically Spontaneous (from Torn - Mind and Body chapter)

-- sung by Mathangi Ray --
I'm looking for a way to see into your mind
I'm looking for a clue but scared of what I'll find
Everything is just too perfect, everything is too sweet
Under the sun there may be the darkest cloud
Someone I don't want to meet
Help me to help you. Why are you so unreal?
Thinking what to say, not saying what you feel
Against anger I could fight, against tears I hold you tight
But with your lovely smile, I'm helpless as a child
Clinically spontaneous, never a word out of place
Am I just a rehearsal each night, helping towards your showcase?
Help me to help you. Why are you so unreal?
Thinking what to say, not saying what you feel.


Own Little Crown (from Gilded Cage chapter):

-- sung by Laura Rhian --
  There was a time, there was a place when I was scared to show my face    
Tried so hard, by somebody’s rules but they weren’t my own, so I was the fool
When I went home, you already know, it’s easy to see: 

I went there alone
Nobody steps in my way this time, nobody’s putting me down
I am queen of my life, from here. I’ll wear my own little crown
Years keep passing, I hide no more. I’m breaking out, right from the core
As I get older, I hope wiser too still finding me, I hope I find you
Want someone to touch, not in heaven that much, but someone I know 
Who won’t stop the show
Nobody steps in my way this time, nobody’s putting me down
I am queen of my life, from here. I’ll wear my own little crown 


Motherhood (from International House Therapy - of a Shanty House chapter)

-- sung by Mathangi Ray --
Feeding, washing, grooming; they all grow up so fast
And I wonder just how long their need of me will last
They’ll learn to cope with grit & grace when times get really rough
And all the skills I’ve taught, will they prove to be enough?
My offspring are my pride & joy ’though I’ll always bear the price
I’ll fight, distract or just lay down, make one last sacrifice
Young & free & blindly bold, more within Danger’s aim
Life’s tale will ever unfold, still Failure hands me the blame
How I share a mother’s fear, may my young be alert
Man has so many talents, when he chooses how to hurt
My offspring are my pride & joy ’though I’ll always bear the price
I’ll fight, distract or just lay down, make one last sacrifice
Some proud day they’ll have to go, each individual way
But in my lonely heart, I wish they all would stay.


I Know A Guy (from The Magpie chapter)

-- sung by Joel Fender --
I know a guy who’s been broken, wishes that he could have seen
What lights would be turned off around him,

And all that the darkness would mean
Is there a way to be near you, really to have and to hold?
I am a slave to the fall of the dice; without it, a slave in the cold
He’d like to offer the whole world but on these words she must depend
And if I were broken in his place, would you have a heart you could lend?
Is there a way to be near you, really to have and to hold?
I am a slave to the whim of win of the game; without it, a slave who’s too old
Is there a way to be near you, really to have and to hold?
Maybe to the signs I have been blind. I could just be left far behind.
Don’t ever think you can leave me, ‘though I’ll never force you to stay
Some of the love we have shared I will save, a drop from the ocean you gave.


Home Run (from House Therapy Circles chapter)

-- sung by Mathangi Ray --
​There are so many songs about home but I’ll make this one my own
So many lives have been wasted; clichés come bitter when tasted
I am one of those fish in the sea; loneliest star in no-one’s galaxy
A drop in the deepest ocean; but must you deny my simple emotion?
Won’t you take me as I am
Your home run has begun
To you I want to prove how I can make you move
And if you think I’m coming, coming on too strong
Hey boy, hey boy, this is only the song 
Your mama may tell you: take your time. Papa will tell you not to be mine
They may say there’re other birds in the sky; but you must decide or this one flies by
Don’t hide behind home apple pies; don’t cushion my ego with smiled alibis 
You’re something special that nobody knows; I want to hold the stem to my rose
Won’t you take me as I am...


​Independently Dependent (from Sequins and MS chapter)

-- sung by Laura Rhian --
If you have the time, as the day ends, give me a comforting call
If you have the time, ’til part of life, takes you beyond nightfall
I want to hear, just how you are, and how you feel about us
Like a school kid, counting her score, so thrilled with every plus
Touched by you, by flowers, phone or text
When you do, I know what’s coming next
So in love, I have a little pain. Just enough, let it remain
I want to really need you, and you to need me
Independently dependent, is where we both should be
I’ll take our love, wrap it in wool, to put it safely away
And when you come home, we’ll unwrap so much, words will have nothing to say
Touched by you, by flowers, phone or text
When you do, I know what’s coming next
So in love, I have a little pain. Just enough, let it remain
I want to really need you, and you to need me
Independently dependent, is where we both should be.

Light in the Gloom (from House Time-Warp chapter)

-- sung by Laura Rhian --
I’m walking through the wind, through the rain, through the snow
Feeling it all and yet who wants to know
Then you appear as if in a dream
But you must not leave because you are as you seem
Love, like a fire, can burn itself out. 
If I am your flame, don’t leave me in doubt
I need to know, now my heart has been shown
I am in love but am I alone?
Now you stand with me a breeze in my sails
A light in the gloom when all else pales
There’s so much about you that turns me on
Feathers may fade, am I still your swan?
Love, like a fire, can burn itself out...


Plastic Flower (from Jane Eyre and the Sex Box chapter)

-- sung by Joel Fender --
I wake up tired somewhere else, turn and touch her but I’m alone
Answering my selfish moment, I let her say ‘hello’
Then took me for a cold night, saying ‘goodbye’
Why does temptation have to be so sweet? 
The aftertaste is sour, sour in deceit
Now I have to go, go back home
Like a plastic flower to a charming street
She gets up, makes us both coffee, glances at the clock, I drink fast     
‘That was nice, we must meet sometime,’ she murmurs to her cup
Politely takes my number, I see the door 
Why does temptation have to be so sweet? The aftertaste is sour, sour in deceit
Now I have to go, go back home, like a plastic flower to a charming street
I’ll hide my guilt, in a drawer, in a dark room forever locked
Because I’m back with someone special, someone loyal, who trusts me.

Rude Food (from Cookie Queen chapter)

-- sung by Dennis Mansfeld --
Every time I see you, you’re a treat, you look more than good enough to eat
And if you were the table, I might say: You’d be just the type I’d want to lay
Have you heard of something called rude food? It’s the type I’d like to have off you
You would learn as I reach certain parts, why I’m good at culinary arts
 Dress down for dinner. Oo-ooh yaar
I’m easy to please, girl, don’t work too hard
Put on my jacket, maybe no shirt
And we’ll wear our birthday suits over dessert
You’ve said you are very, very choosy but you know I’m a very healthy smoothie
Now it’s clear you’re a peach in bloom so I’ll be tasting hot peach soon
Dress down for dinner. Oo-ooh yaar
I’m easy to please, girl, don’t work too hard
Put on my jacket, maybe no shirt
And we’ll wear our birthday suits over dessert
I try hard to behave when I read your eyes and mouth 
Then a mood suggests rude food and, oops, all my thoughts slip south
So, dress down for dinner...over dessert
After dinner if you want to play, I’ve got something special for your tray
You will feast your gorgeous eyes on my very sweet surprise.
​​

Full of Theory (from The Broken Knob chapter)

-- sung by Dennis Mansfeld --
There’s so much you can teach me, so much I wanna learn
Itching to know more, got energy to burn
So what you gonna do with this fire at your side
You can dampen it with mockery or build it up with pride
I’m not a natural lover, trust me, need a bit of practical, you’ll see
Right now, I’m full of theory.  C’mon show me
I watch things on my TV, read them in magazines
Seen enough for far too long, I wanna live my dreams
It’s not like I’m insecure, ’bout what I have to do
Jus’ wanna find the perfect way, to ev’ry part of you
I’m not a natural lover, trust me, need a bit of practical, you’ll see
Right now, I’m full of theory.  C’mon show me
I’m not a natural lover, trust me, the more I get, the more I need to see
Your body has a hold on me.  C’mon show me.

Waterfall (second in The Broken Knob chapter)

-- sung by Joel Fender --
Childhood was my waterfall of dreams. Time has turned this to a tiny stream
I need someone to take my hand to lead me out of this dry land
I need someone, I need someone, so bad
Have you ever been to solitude? That’s the place where love will not intrude
It’s OK to go some days but to live there’s like a tourniquet
Around my heart. Please, take it away
Don’t wanna be lonely again. Don’t wanna be lost ‘til the end
Jus’ wanna give love to a beautiful friend
Don’t wanna be lonely again
Life was something when I was his rock, now the sands of time just seem to mock
I could feel cold inside, could be losing all my pride
Could be that rock … in a landslide
Don’t wanna be lonely again. Don’t wanna be lost ‘til the end
Jus’ wanna give love to a beautiful friend
Don’t wanna be lonely again.

When Evening Falls (from Steve Jobs – iAll chapter)

-- sung by Dennis Mansfeld --
Dreamed I was an eagle surfing on a cloud
Became a flightless soul and not so proud
I’m on a long, straight road at the start. 
People stand either side; dressed so dark
In the middle of this road I walk alone, I see all those I’ve known
My evening has fallen, the lights have gone down
And though my life has been stolen, at last, the meaning I’ve found
No-one hears my ‘Hello’s calling through the years
The sun shines on every face, missing my tears
Black ties in the heat, a breeze gives breath
Yet this makes me sweat ‘n’ cold, I feel like death. Feel like death
My evening has fallen, the lights have gone down
And though my life has been stolen, at last, the meaning I’ve found
At the end of the road I take a look down see myself in a space
six feet in the ground.  And when I awake after the dream
is there a difference I’ll make in the great scheme?
Perhaps there’s more to this meaning I’ll find
It’s what those who I’ve touched can hold when I leave them behind
My evening has fallen...


Defiance (from Tracy Emin - 'My Bed' chapter)

-- sung by Mathangi Ray & Dennis Mansfeld --
Many will keep trying to tear us to pieces
But with each threat we face, our love only increases
Moving through the water, I don’t show my fears
It will caress my body, it will remove my tears
Swim with me today, think not of tomorrow
Hold me close, still closer, put aside the sorrow
Savour each new moment as the one before
Take it not for granted, there may be no more
Sliding over your body, yours sliding over mine
Let our nearness linger, floating now through time
Swim with me today, think not of tomorrow
Hold me close, still closer, put aside the sorrow
I have lost others, have you lost them too?
Did they share these moments that I do with you?
Yes, by those stronger than I, my loves have been taken
But I shall not weary, defiance has awakened
Just be with me today, think not of tomorrow
Hold me close, still closer, put aside the sorrow
I can feel your strokes reassuring me
Responding to your rhythm, I am eternally.


Amazing Disgrace (from Elton John & David Furnish – ‘My heart belongs to Daddy’ chapter)

-- sung by Mathangi Ray --
Sometimes I hear you sing, “All creatures great and small”
Could these words mean anything? Pray, anything at all?
I am quite a simple soul and once more crucified
By those who like to satisfy some kind of human pride
Through many dangers toils and snares, I have already grown
’Tis fear that brought me safe thus far and love will lead me home
How easy rushing to forgive, to turn away from hate
When it’s not your lonesome body they choose to desecrate
Through many dangers toils and snares, I have already grown
’Tis fear that brought me safe thus far and love will lead me home
I could never close my eyes nor to myself stay true
If I said: “Forgive them, for they know not what they do”
Too much from too many of you, too little too few of me
I wonder who should cry your words, “He Who Would Valiant Be”?
Through many dangers toils and snares, I have already grown
’Tis fear that brought me safe thus far and love will lead me home
When this heart and flesh shall fail and mortal life shall cease
I shall possess beyond the veil, at least a time of peace
With your unholy calling, I can only see
That this Great One you sing to is not in you, but me.

Universal Hero (second from Elton John & David Furnish – ‘My heart belongs to Daddy’ chapter)

-- sung by Joel Fender --
As my feet touch the floor, from the night before, the battle must begin
I shall fight for the right, to survive another day. Is it penance for a sin?
Don’t know what I have done, to deserve what I’ve become, I have tried to be good
But there’s someone who cares, who heard lonely prayers, who always knew I might be
Be misunderstood
You’re my universal hero. Your arms go far and wide
When I hit rock-bottom, you make me feel I can fly
The radio told me: “If yer wanna be free, yer gotta blow this town.”
That’s mighty fine advice, an’ country songs are nice, but one thing I sure found
Wherever I could go, the same soul of mine will show, eventually
And you’re someone who’s touched, where no-one else knows much, so I’ll love you my way
Way more than they see
You’re my universal hero. Your arms go far and wide
When I hit rock-bottom, you make me feel I can fly
Now thanks to you I’ve grown, so you’d surely have known, I’d have the urge to move
You’re definitely right, there’s one place in my sight, and that is closer to you
 You’re my universal hero... 

Never More Than Tonight (from Porcelain Doll chapter)

-- sung by Mathangi Ray --
I am someone, who is no-one, without someone else to love
Now I’m with you, I will mind you, like the white wings of the dove
And I know how, I must feel like, I have never been alone
Some desire what they don’t have, it’s the challenge of the chase
But I could not feel safer than in your strong embrace
Satisfied I am now holding the best man I’ve ever known 
I’ll never love more than I have tonight
You heard this from me before; I need to tell you just once more
I’ve never loved more than I have tonight
I’ll say it in the morning, each day a fresh love dawning
There are moments when we have thoughts that are often, left unsaid
But they touch us more than words should after we’ve climbed into bed
So I’m happy when I wake up, I am such a happy girl.
I’ll never love more than I have tonight
You heard this from me before; I need to tell you just once more
I’ve never loved more than I have tonight
I’ll say it in the morning, each day a fresh love dawning.


​​Contact: anton@killerchorus.com